If you've ever had the pleasure of seeing roaches up close and personal you'll notice something about them. Let's say you walk in the kitchen and flip on the light switch...you'll see them scurry from all over the place! I'm using this as an analogy to myself because I have men showing up from out of nowhere! I must have a light shining because here they all come like roaches!
I find it ironic that men think it's okay to try to return to my life now that I've dropped a lot of weight. There are a few that for one reason or another just vanished into thin air. Now all of the sudden they want to be my "friend???" It's very blatant and obvious to me what's going on. At times I don't know if I should be flattered or offended?
One man in particular told me that I needed to lose weight and to be honest that was the only thing that he didn't like about me. He saw a recent picture of me and wants to start talking again!!! Get the hell out of here! Since I declined his offer I am now being called "vain!!" The reason why I'm pointing him out is because we had established a fairly decent friendship over the course of a year. During this time I assumed that my weight wasn't an issue because he had never mentioned it prior to getting caught in a lie with his girlfriend. He attempted to make me look bad by insulting me and guess what??? I'm getting the last laugh! Oh and it would be silly of me not to mention that this particular man is around 6'6 and well over 300 pounds!!
I am a true Virgo (personality wise) and I am loyal to those that I love. I'm not fickle when it comes to my feelings. A lot of men missed out on an amazing woman in me due to shallow perceptions pertaining to image. We all weren't meant to be a size 2. I wasn't happy or comfortable when I weighed 275 pounds so I decided to make changes. My confidence has incresed but the core of who I am as a person remains in tact. You never know what you might be walking away from if you're judging a person on a physical characteristic that can be changed.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Something off my menu
I'm asked quite often what I eat??? I'll list below what I'm eating today. This is a fairly typical menu for me during the week.
Breakfast- whey protein shake made w/ soy milk (8 oz)
Snack- lightly salted rice cakes (2) w/ peanut butter (1 Tbsp)
Lunch- five-grain beef & veggies (frozen meal) less than 300 calories, baby carrots (15) w/ rice vinegar (1 Tbsp)
Snack- medium pear, protein snack bar (110 calories)
Dinner- chicken stir fry made w/ 4 ounces skinless chicken breasts & various veggies
H20- 100 ounces throughout the day
I usually have popcorn after dinner as my evening snack but I'm trying to limit myself to having it 5 days per week instead of 7 :-). This day totals around 1300 calories including my vitamins. My recommended caloric intake to reach my weight loss goal at around 2 lbs per week is 1200-1550 calories per day. On days that I have an exceptionally harder workout I do go over my limit to refuel properly. I gradually worked my way down on calories cutting back a little at a time. A drastic change initially left me feeling like I was starving. I had to learn what worked best for my body.
Breakfast- whey protein shake made w/ soy milk (8 oz)
Snack- lightly salted rice cakes (2) w/ peanut butter (1 Tbsp)
Lunch- five-grain beef & veggies (frozen meal) less than 300 calories, baby carrots (15) w/ rice vinegar (1 Tbsp)
Snack- medium pear, protein snack bar (110 calories)
Dinner- chicken stir fry made w/ 4 ounces skinless chicken breasts & various veggies
H20- 100 ounces throughout the day
I usually have popcorn after dinner as my evening snack but I'm trying to limit myself to having it 5 days per week instead of 7 :-). This day totals around 1300 calories including my vitamins. My recommended caloric intake to reach my weight loss goal at around 2 lbs per week is 1200-1550 calories per day. On days that I have an exceptionally harder workout I do go over my limit to refuel properly. I gradually worked my way down on calories cutting back a little at a time. A drastic change initially left me feeling like I was starving. I had to learn what worked best for my body.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Jillian Michaels is kicking my ass!
Although I'm not an expert when it comes to exercise I would not recommenced Jillian Michaels for someone brand new to exercise. Her circuits are intense. In order to complete most of the circuits you'll need a decent level of ability. I didn't start her workouts until I had been exercising consistently for three months straight. I'm glad I was prepared! I enjoy the fact that she has modifications for most exercises. I also like the low weight, high repetition combination. I'm slowly learning to appreciate plyometric moves. Plyometric moves send my heart rate skyrocketing. When I finish her routines I feel like I have accomplished something big. I respect her talent!
I had to check myself
Failed relationships have always put me in a state of emotional turmoil. I ask myself often when it ends what part I played in the failure? In two of my last three failed relationships I figured out that the role I played in the failure was not taking out the time to get to know that person before I made a commitment to them. Had I taken time to get to know them, I would have ran in the opposite direction! I didn't know what I wanted so I settled for less than I deserved. I thought I knew but I had no idea.
The moment I did a quality check on myself my ideas about relationships changed. I know that I am a good woman with a lot to offer the right man. I learned that everyone isn't right for me even if they say they are. I've noticed in the past some men would immediately try to align themselves to fit inside my proposed list of wants and needs. My boyfriend says I gave them "the blueprint" and that's exactly what I was doing. I told them exactly what they needed to know to get close to me.
So I figured with my current relationship it would be best if I didn't tell him my list of wants and needs all up front at one time. I've gradually opened up to the idea of sharing everything. One thing I made clear at the beginning was that I'm not willing to share him with other women. I had to check myself on that because in the past if I found out I was being stepped out on I would right that wrong (in my eyes) by doing the same thing. More often than not it was making emotional connections with other men. In reality I would check myself out of a relationship mentally before anything else. I couldn't ask the person that I am with to do a check on himself if I wasn't willing to do the exact same thing. At this stage I have, and I'm a better woman for it.
The moment I did a quality check on myself my ideas about relationships changed. I know that I am a good woman with a lot to offer the right man. I learned that everyone isn't right for me even if they say they are. I've noticed in the past some men would immediately try to align themselves to fit inside my proposed list of wants and needs. My boyfriend says I gave them "the blueprint" and that's exactly what I was doing. I told them exactly what they needed to know to get close to me.
So I figured with my current relationship it would be best if I didn't tell him my list of wants and needs all up front at one time. I've gradually opened up to the idea of sharing everything. One thing I made clear at the beginning was that I'm not willing to share him with other women. I had to check myself on that because in the past if I found out I was being stepped out on I would right that wrong (in my eyes) by doing the same thing. More often than not it was making emotional connections with other men. In reality I would check myself out of a relationship mentally before anything else. I couldn't ask the person that I am with to do a check on himself if I wasn't willing to do the exact same thing. At this stage I have, and I'm a better woman for it.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Not offering up my "Platinum Pussy" to bronze level candidates
I have taken the liberty of classifying my pussy as "platinum grade!" Oh yes...this means top of the line! If I don't treat it as such then who else will? I haven't always been so selective when it came to who I allowed to touch it and get close to it, but times have certainly changed! The days of passing it out to the undeserving have come and gone like yesterday's weather report. I'm not suggesting that I'm being conceited, I just feel as though it's necessary for me to use discernment when it comes to choosing who I share myself with.
When I was younger, I didn't spend much time thinking about quality control standards. Had I done that, most men wouldn't have gotten my phone number! Thank God I'm in a relationship now but if I wasn't I'd have my quality check list on hand at all times! If you're even thinking about trying to get close to me you'd better be ready to bring your "A" game because there will be no downgrading in my future!
Taking the time to get to know myself and labeling my self worth has brought my personal value to a whole new level. There's nothing wrong with having standards for the person I choose to deal with. I have a great man to thank for showing me that there is better quality out there and settling shouldn't have to be an option. Settling is no longer an option as it relates to my worth.
When I was younger, I didn't spend much time thinking about quality control standards. Had I done that, most men wouldn't have gotten my phone number! Thank God I'm in a relationship now but if I wasn't I'd have my quality check list on hand at all times! If you're even thinking about trying to get close to me you'd better be ready to bring your "A" game because there will be no downgrading in my future!
Taking the time to get to know myself and labeling my self worth has brought my personal value to a whole new level. There's nothing wrong with having standards for the person I choose to deal with. I have a great man to thank for showing me that there is better quality out there and settling shouldn't have to be an option. Settling is no longer an option as it relates to my worth.
70 pounds lighter :-)
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Month in review
Last month I didn't lose a huge amount, actually I went up and down a few times in weight. I had a net loss of 3 pounds and 2.5 inches overall. Taking a week vacation threw off my schedule but I still managed to get a few workouts in while I was in Texas. I did hit a milestone which was losing 70 pounds! When I started this journey I couldn't imagine reaching this point. For me it was easier to approach the task with baby steps, one little thing at a time. I knew that eventually the small things would add up to something big and they did. With each chance I get I try to take advantage and keep pushing myself. It's great to have support but I have to rely on my own strength and the will of God to keep going forward.