Two years!!!

As of today I've been living in Houston for two years!! When I say leaving Seattle (home) has been a great change...that's putting it mildly! Although last year was emotionally taxing, it made me stronger! I won't complain!

I'm healthy, I'm happy and my girls are well adjusted. What else could I really ask for?? I'm blessed no doubt!



I just had to share the Valentine's Day swag I received! So much more than I ever expected!


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What's next??

This is heavy. So a month or so ago I wrote about my new beau. Things have been great between us BUT they also moved very quickly. We met at the end of July, by the beginning of November we are shacking and talking marriage...babies and houses.

I was getting something that I thought I always wanted. A man that is head over heels in love with me and my girls, a man that willingly will hand over his last to me, a man that has always kept his word to me. Don't get me wrong...I do still want those things but I also want them at the right time.

In love I am a firm believer that timing is everything! I know I rambled on and on about how I was ready to move on from my ex that lives in NO but I wasn't. I hadn't given myself the proper amount of time to heal.

In the back of my mind I always felt like things were moving a little fast with KC. I don't take marriage lightly, I've never been married before and I'm praying that when I do get married it will be forever.

So basically I told him last week that I'm not ready to get married, and I also need time and space to get clear with myself. Not an easy conversation but I think he respects the fact that I told him now rather than later.

What's next??


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New :))

I've been a bit hesitant when it came to writing about New. Let me first start off by saying that New is my "New" sweetie!

Yes I just ended another relationship not too long ago, and New was a big part of making the final decision to let it go. A few of my friends had asked me if it was too soon to move on with someone else? No. I was ready but I'm not going to lie and say that it has been easy.

I've known him now just over 3 months. Coming straight out of a relationship and into another was not my ideal but it happened for a reason. This man has consistently told me and shown me his true intentions. I have nothing but admiration and respect for that.

I thought I was specific in my last request for the man in my life, I guess I wasn't specific enough! New is showing me that there are still great men out here! He's so special to me :)

Ultimately we are at the same place at the right time as far as relationships go. New made it very clear from the start that he would be the man I've prayed for. No games, an all out full fledged courtship! I'd never experienced being courted in this manner! He's been spoiling me and I've gotten used to it!

I expect next year to be full of exciting changes in my life! I won't make any "official" announcements just yet BUT there are talks if bells..there are talks of rattles..there are talks of buying a home!! :))))

I'm looking forward to becoming a "Mrs" someday. It's nice to hear a man tell you I choose YOU! You are beautiful and I am going to make you my wife!

He told me when he met me that he knew I was going to be in trouble. I asked why? He said he knew that he was going to do whatever he had to do to win me and that I would not be able to resist!

So far he's kept his word!

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The breakup...and then.....

For those of you that have followed me for awhile, you know that I had been in a long distance relationship a little over three years. Over the last six months things between us haven't been good at all.

I struggled with the idea of walking away many times, and often times didn't know what I was going to do? I love this man, I felt as if he was my best friend...the love of my life.

I was wrong.

Not about him being my best friend, but about him being the man God intended me to spend the rest of my life with.

I felt often more times than not, that I was in a relationship all by myself, lonely and unsatisfied. The struggle was that he's not a bad person, there were just things that I didn't want to accept. I didn't feel like a priority in his life. I didn't feel important and sometimes I felt like he was keeping our relationship a secret.

His entire life is in New Orleans, and my life is here in Houston. He wasn't making enough effort in my opinion to show me his level of seriousness being three years in. I knew in my heart that I needed/wanted/deserved more.

So I made the tough decision to walk away. At the end of the day, I am 34 years old, a single mommy making it on my own. I need a partner in life that wants to be there for my girls and myself in every way possible, I had to let go. I was settling. I didn't relocate my life from Seattle to settle on a hope and a wish.

I'm ready to get married, have one more baby possibly. I never envisioned doing it alone. I don't think he was ready. He never told me that he wasn't but then he never told me that he was. I made peace with that.

I didn't cry, I've been crying since February. It didn't get better until I made up my mind. I was blocking my blessing.

And then came New!!


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Another one bites the dust!

My big girl turned 9 yesterday, 9/9! I'm a proud mama! I see my girls growing and changing so much everyday. It's amazing just how fast the time goes by.

For all the new mama's I know...please enjoy it!



Julianni when she was almost two



My girl on her birthday

I'm ready to change the direction of my blog I know I've said this before again, this time I've given it careful thought and consideration.

Changes are on the horizon, all good things I promise!

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My favorite picture :-)

Out of the 150 shots honey and I had from our photo shoot, I was trying to pick my favorite. I think this is it :-)




I'll be posting later this week about my summer challenge and starting P90X!

A very special thank you for everyone that gave their prayers on my sister's behalf. At 26 she shouldn't have to go through the pain of burying her husband. My nieces and nephew didn't deserve to lose their dad the way that they did.

She's one of the strongest people I know for sure. She's doing okay and we will help her get through this.

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Love of my life...the B.F.F.

****Pic heavy post****

After many failed and not so great relationships I remember asking the lord to bless me with a man that would become my best friend.






Someone that would protect and provide for me, someone that would love me and my girls unconditionally. He's done all of those things and more.









God heard me for sure and sent me the man that I want to grow old with. The man I want to have a family with..it's going to be a "beautifully blended" family!






He came along when I had all but given up on the idea of truly being in love. He came into my life when I had the least amount of confidence in myself. He looked past my 275 pound body and saw my heart.







I didn't ask for this distance but we fell in love, there was no turning back from that. Truth be told had we met 10 years ago we'd probably have 6 or 7 kids together lol!



He's one of the best people I know hands down and I'm looking forward to seeing where God will lead us in the future. For now I'm going to keep loving him and appreciating what we do have because it's special.

Thank you Daniel of 7dstudioz for your beautiful work once again!

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The honey...

Last weekend was a great one!! My honey came to town last Thursday. It has been a very LONG three months, I've been going through a lot, needing and missing him like crazy.

I pretty much had the entire weekend planned for us but the storm that rolled through killed Friday date night...we were going clubbing and Saturday ended up being a wash due to piss poor planning on his part!

I was really looking forward to going out with him because when I was visiting him in February it was too cold to do the Mardi Gras parades. So we were inside mostly. I mean I'm not complaining, any time I get to spend with him no matter what we're doing is appreciated. But sometimes I like to get dressed up and prance around with my baby!

Mother's Day was nice, he took me to lunch AND we did a photo shoot in the early morning! He wasn't too happy about me pulling him out of bed at 8 am Sunday morning, especially since we didn't go to sleep until around 5 am?? I don't care, we really don't have any pics together and I wanted nice ones! He got over it and we even got a few smiles out of him in some of the shots!

I'll be sure to share those with y'all when I get the disk :-)

We also had a chance to finally talk face-to-face about our plans for the future, there are some MAJOR life changing events in the works! I'm not going to put it all out there right now but I'm looking forward to what we're working on as a couple.

I feel as though he's finally hearing what I'm saying to him about our future together. Okay maybe he's heard me but now he's listening.

I love this man, with my whole heart love him. I know that things are going to be okay.

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Sharing some love :-)

Happy Valentines Day loves!




I receive emails weekly from people that I know and some that I've never met personally but know through my blog, Facebook, Twitter etc. I have said this before, I honestly never intended to motivate others. In the messages that I receive, I am told all of the time that I inspire and motivate.

Here's a message I received last week:




This post was anonymous so I wasn't able to send a direct message to the author but I'm saying here that a appreciate all the love :-). You telling someone about me and my story makes me smile! I feel blessed!

If I've said something that pushes you to make changes or inspired you with my old pictures I'll keep doing it! I'm rooting for all of you that are actively working towards improving your health!

Always remember that loving and taking care of yourself FIRST is the most important thing you can do not only for you, but your loved ones as well!

XOXO

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Yes I know...

Yes I said I had stuff on my mind that I wanted to blog about last week but I just didn't feel like doing it *shrugs*

I did check my weight this morning and I am at 178.6. That's down almost 2 pounds from last week. I was in New Orleans over the weekend with my sweetheart and we ate out a few times.



His plate: seafood platter with fried shrimp, oysters, fish and fries

* we also shared an order of voodoo rolls, that's a crawfish stuff egg roll


My plate: fried eggplant stuffed with crab, shrimp and angel hair pasta with cream sauce

This was Saturday night date night food! I've never been to this spot, some of THE BEST food I've ever had! We had a very nice time together, it's always good when it's just us..minus all of the running around with the kids.

Ironically when we were eating dinner we both received text messages at the same time about Whitney Houston passing away. I was a HUGE Whitney Houston fan growing up, probably like most girls my age. I had my hopes high for a comeback success so hearing this really saddened me.

I will say that I truly believe in my heart that our paths are predestined. Choices and decisions along the way will aide in our failures and successes. I believe in God and I believe that God makes no mistakes, whether or not we agree is personal.

I pray that Whitney Houston has some peace and comfort now.

For those of you that commented on my last blog post, I appreciate it! I wasn't sad or upset about the weight gain, my body really looks good from the strength training! As a matter of fact, my boyfriend told me when he saw me, "You done got finer than a MF!" So we're straight and I'm not trippin :-)

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Friday baby!

Something about Friday afternoon makes me smile! Go figure? Hey to all my new followers!! *Waives* I'm trying to stop by all of your blogs and get familiar! Anyhoo, here's my workout log from yesterday...




I have three days of rest again this week, next week I'll only have two rest days. I can see and feel the difference in my body for sure! I'm not feeling the weight gain but I understand muscle is more dense than fat. I've made it through these first two weeks with very little cardio and to be honest I miss the high of intense cardio!

I'm going to tough out these next two weeks with limited cardio and wait to bring it back in week 5. I just might sneak in a session tomorrow morning though :-)

In other news I'm going to see my honey in two weeks! We have to celebrate Valentine's Day a few days early SO I'm on the hunt for a super sexy outfit!

I like these...










My motto is "go BIG or go HOME!" I run with the big dogs and I'm not shy when it comes to putting a smile on the booski's face :-)

I plan to chillax this weekend, nothing major to do. A little shopping, wanted to get my tattoo done but I might wait until next weekend? I'll keep you posted!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

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This comment made me think...

I received a comment on my last post regarding my long distance relationship that really made me think. Polar's Mom posted this...

Polar's Mom said...

You know what? I think as soon as you accept the situation, and this sounds weird, but love it, then planets will align to get you too together. I know this is easier said than done, and I know you are probably stressed alot, but I got a good feeling for you guys...keep your chin up!

Polar's Mom thank you for saying this! I've never thought to love and accept the idea of being apart. I've spent the last two + years stomping and kicking the shit out of the entire idea!

When it comes down to it we've made the decision to make it work and to stay a team while doing so. I have never had a feeling of such peace and calm in my relationship. When I tell you we compliment each other well it's an understatement! We're both Virgo's with super similar personalities. He gets me and he allows me to be myself. He's the first man that I can really share my feelings with.

I'm going to try and take Polar's Mom's advice. I'm going to try to live and love him in this moment without complaining. Real unapologetic, unconditional love is hard to come by. I have that with my honey.

Thanks to all of you that left comments on that post and wished your blessings upon us. That meant a lot to me * tear*! He doesn't read my blog but I'm sure if he did he'd say thank you as well...in his SEXY "Nawlins" accent!

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The Honey Do *smiles*

For those of you that are new to my blog, I appreciate you coming to hang with me :-)!

I've mentioned this before in previous post but I've been in a long distance relationship (me in Houston, him in New Orleans) for two years, two months and twenty four days...but really who's counting?



Honey do's truck

Okay so having his truck parked outside is a big damn deal, he hasn't been in Houston since June and I hadn't seen his face since the end of July! It's hard on me going through my days without having him here physically. This is one of the greatest challenges I've ever faced.

I know that it's equally hard on him and I can forget that at times. There are so many things to factor into our visits, mainly cash and our kids. There's always something going on and something that needs to be paid for. Now the girls are getting involved in sports, his son plays basketball damn near year round...I don't know how we're going to do this?

I do know that there is no other man better for me. I kept asking God for signs, whether or not I should throw in the towel or keep working at it. I get signs all of the time showing me that he is IT and I keep going. His way of handling things is completely opposite of mine, I don't understand it but I respect it.



He chills when he's with me :-)...my leg and my foot

We had a very good weekend, did a lot of talking and a lot of laughing. Even if we're in the same room not talking, just relaxing...I'm happy and he's happy!

I ask my blog buddies that do pray to keep us lifted. I know that I wasn't sent someone so perfect for me and me for him with no purpose. I don't understand the distance and why we met the way that we did but we are very close because of it.

Nothing is guaranteed but if you have someone that is good to you and for you, cherish that. It's hard to come by and easy to miss of you're not paying attention! All smiles!!

*I miss him already...soon as he goes...half of my heart leaves with him*- The LDR

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Living & Loving Life!

The past couple of weeks has been good, I feel well rested and ready to tackle the rest of the year! Crazy that we are just about in the last quarter of 2011! Where exactly did the time go? Who knows, all I do know is that I've been living & loving life!

This past weekend a couple friends and I took our one and only trip this summer to Galveston beach. Naturally I'm still finding sand all over the place but we had a great time! Weather was perfect and the kids couldn't get enough of that dirty water :-)



Julianni 9/17/11



Enjoying some sand!


Mimi 9/17/11

After the nice long day at the beach, we ate a "snack"...took showers and then headed out for a graduation party/fish fry.

Okay so we really didn't eat a "snack" and when we arrived at the fish fry I had absolutely NO BUSINESS eating again but hell...you only live once on this earth right?! The food was crazy good of course...this is TX and the strawberry daiquiri's were even better!



My friend and I on our way to the party

Basically this post is about how I'm choosing to enjoy my life! This has been a great year for me and I intend to finish it with a bang! Thanks for continuing to kick it with me on my lifestyle transformation!

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Random funny with my honey!

Me: Bae, I already know what I want for my birthday!

Him: What's that?

Me: A Bodybugg!

Him: A body who?

Me: Baby a Bodybugg! It tracks calories eaten, calories burned..it does everything!

Him: Oh okay, (in that sexy New Orleans swag that I just love), where do I buy it?

Me: You have to buy it online this man does NOT shop online!

Him: So I can't just go into a store and ask for a bugaboo?

Me: FAIL!!

My birthday isn't until August but I have to tell him now because of his above response!


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Pandora playing...listening to love songs!

I am up early (as usual) listening to my Pandora stations pump out love songs. Awww I'm feeling in a way...wish my honey was here right now!

One of my favorite songs came on this morning, Keri Hilson "All the Boys," it always makes me think of my current relationship. The lyrics are exactly things I could say! I never knew love with another man like the love I have now.

When I was going through in previous relationships, I wanted to know why they didn't love me the way I desired them to? Why was it always so difficult? There is a distinct difference between then and now.

I don't just view my honey as my man, I view him as my friend...actually he's my best friend. I'd never taken the time to build a friendship prior to immediately jumping into a relationship with someone, always leading to an epic FAIL!

I know my relationship is built on friendship because my man talks to me like I'm one of his boys. He tells me things about men that would surely violate the "man code" lol! He wants to make sure if for some reason he's not with me, another man can't come along and run bullshit to take advantage of my kindness. I've done more for men (in the past) financially then I care to admit.

I've hung my neck out on the limb, opened up my wallet all in the name of love. Was the favor ever returned? NOPE! I couldn't get one single dollar back from a man that I easily handed about four grand during the course of our so called relationship.

I'd never had a man stand for me before now. What I need, I get. If I ask, I get! I'm not used to a man financially providing for me. I've always stood on my own and have taken care of mine.

Something about just knowing that the option is there lets me know my man loves me. He's making sure that I don't have any added stress, I love him for that. He would never take from me and my girls like so many had done in the past. For a long time I had lost all hope in the idea of finding the right person to share my life with. That hope was restored from our first conversation.

"After all the boys that I thought I loved before, I didn't know what love was, till you knocked on my door.
After all the boys that I wished had love me more, I didn't know what love was, never had this before."- Keri Hilson "All the Boys"

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Random ish' March 18, 2011

I've never written a post about my random ish' but I've got things on my mind!

1. If I see one more chick in Houston with those damn bat wing eyelashes I'm going to scream! They look absolutely ridiculous!

2. I miss my family!










Pictures of my three siblings with the girls the day before we left.

3. Folks in Texas drive like bats out of HELL! Seriously do they even do a drivers test?

4. I'm soul searching for the things my heart truly desires.

5. I really want to start making and selling my jewelry again.

6. Why do men always want you when you have someone? These fools are coming from all over the place! How can I politely say, "get the f**k out of here!"

7. I miss spin class SO MUCH!

8. I need a BFF (female) in Houston. My honey is great but he won't step foot in the MAC store. It's very hard for me to make new friends so I don't know how this will happen?

9. I need to redo my blog page.

10. It feels good to be in love!

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Marriage & baby on the brain!!

Ever since I moved to Houston I've been seriously thinking about the future of my relationship. Living 2000 miles apart for the first year and a half of my relationship kept my expectations for growth limited. I know this man loves me and is in it for the long haul, but with that kind of distance things can only go so far.


I read this post on NC17's blog Men Choose, Women Settle Black Girls Are Easy and thought to myself, what's wrong with me claiming the man that I want?

I have been proposed to three times, three different men, three different rings...and I didn't marry any of them! I'm not traditional in a sense of waiting for my man to propose to me. My focus isn't having an elaborate story to share with my future grandkids after the divorce about how my ex-husband swept me off my feet with a ring and a promise.

My focus is staking a permanent claim on the man that I believe with all of my heart I am supposed to share forever with. Who gives a damn about who asked who? Thirty years from now I still plan to be happily married to this man.

Then there is this constant nagging itch to have one more child. I had all but cursed the idea of giving birth to another child, now I'm thinking about names for my future nonexistent bundle! I'll be 33 in August, my bio clock and patience is running out of batteries. I always told myself that 35 would be my cut off, and I also told myself that I wouldn't have another child unless I am married.

Should I put a ring on it?? Hmmm...I just might!

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Amazing trip!

I'm SO happy! Spending the weekend with my honey in New Orleans is just what we both needed! We're both committed to making it work no matter what. No one else can take his place. With him I feel safe and protected.

Since we hadn't seen each other in 9 months, you can just imagine how he felt seeing me 47 pounds lighter than the last time he saw me! He's seen progress pictures the entire time but I kept telling him it's not like seeing the change in person. He's proud of me, he loves me...and I love him!

Okay let me get to my weekly check in. I weighed myself on the scale in the fitness room at the hotel. It wasn't digital and it wasn't my normal scale but it showed me at 165. I'm figuring it was fairly accurate. I was only able to get a workout in on Saturday, well I got worked out but it wasn't in a gym smile!

Eating in Houston and New Orleans is a completely different challenge from eating in Seattle. Everything tastes so damn good! I can see how and why folks struggle with their weight in the south! I told my honey I'd have to workout 7 days a week if I lived in New Orleans...smdh! He insisted that I enjoy myself and not think about what I ate so much. I need his balance. If it were up to me, I wouldn't touch a damn thing outside of my points limits in fear of falling off the wagon. He knows that and made sure he bought me not one, but two slices of fantabulous cheesecake from the Cheesecake Bistro!

Let me get to the good stuff! I initially planned this trip to Houston to get the ball rolling on my relocation. I wanted to find out exactly what I needed to do to get my girls enrolled in school. The day before I left Seattle, I was called to schedule an interview for a position I had applied for in Houston. So last Friday I had an interview with an OB/GYN group. I currently do OB intake for an OB/GYN group in Seattle.

Anyhoo, the position available was for front desk check in. I haven't worked a front desk in awhile but I'm not above doing something I might not necessarily want to do in order to get to the next step.

The interview went well with the two ladies I met with, and I believe I sold myself as best I could! They asked me a couple of times if I was sure I wanted to work front desk, and if I preferred back office more? I was honest, laid it all out and explained that I prefer to work with the billing and insurance because I'm great at it and it's what I do now. We wrapped things up and I thanked them for bringing me in. I was told they should have their decision early in the week.

Well yesterday on my drive back from New Orleans I received a voicemail from the billing office manager stating that she'd like to ask me a few questions. I didn't meet with her on Friday so I immediately thought she was calling to talk to me about a different position in the billing department. I was RIGHT! Basically the other two ladies felt I was over qualified for the front desk but they were very impressed with me. Funny thing is that they never mentioned another position being available?

The new lady basically did a phone interview with me and explained the details of the position she is trying to fill. The position is exactly what I do in Seattle! I'm pumped because I love my job! Initially I think she was concerned with me still being in Seattle but I made it very clear if the position is offered to me (and the money is right) I will make it work and can be moved to Houston sooner than I initially anticipated.

I should know something by the end of the week! Y'all keep me in your prayers, things seem to be falling right in line! This isn't an easy transition for me because I have my girls to think about as well. I've prayed about this move and everything in me tells me it's the right time. Sometimes God dreams bigger dreams for us than we ever could've for ourselves. I believe that and I know everything will be alright! Thanks for taking this ride with me!

PS- I hate to drive and I drove from Houston to New Orleans all by myself! This is the longest distance I've ever driven, yay me!

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New beginnings!

This is my first post of the new year...happy 2011! I spent my new year weekend packing, cleaning and moving...smdh. I am mentally and physically tired. I am in bad need of a mani/pedi and a full body massage. My honey should have that massage covered when I see him next week!

Phase one of my relocation to Houston will be over as of today! I'll be turning in the keys to my old place today, finally! Thank God my mom came over to help me finish cleaning my place yesterday. She helped save at least four hours off of my day. To say the least I am thankful that my mom loves me and proud that I did not succumb to a mini melt down!

With this move I am even more convinced of the healing power of purging. I threw away a lot of stuff! I never realized I had so many things. I'm okay with saying "goodbye" to the old because new beginnings await me. I'm at a great place right now, in my eyes the sky is the limit. If this year is better than the last, I am in for so much happiness!



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