Road to #140..stacked, sexy, lean muscle!

I've been quiet this week, reading blog posts with limited comments. I'm still getting my *e-hugs* and love from y'all which is helping me tremendously!

Have you ever wanted something SO bad but just didn't know how to get it? That's where I'm at with my relationship. This question can also directly relate to weight loss. Truth be told the frustration of my relationship is fucking me up right now.

I'm all thrown off. Eating like crap, skipping workouts, drinking...you name it...I've been doing it! This is hard, emotionally I am drained. I'm not a quitter, I can't let what's going on keep me from moving forward towards my goals.

I need to focus on something I have complete control over, which brings me to the topic of this post. I've decided to set a brand new goal for myself that I intend to take seriously.

The NEW goal is to shape a figure competitor's body..minus the competing (for now). For this to become a reality many things I am doing as of now must change.

I've written a detailed list of goals and rewards which I will share a little later. For now I'm mentally preparing myself for this next phase of my lifestyle transformation. I've gotten comfy, change cannot happen unless I push myself to my limit and beyond!

I want a body of envy, I don't give a shit about anyone else's opinion! Follow me on my road to #140..stacked, sexy, lean muscle!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Emotional struggles

I'm feeling awful today! Yes it's Easter Sunday, yes I should be happy but right now I'm not. This being my first holiday away from my immediate family is harder on me than I thought it would be.

On top of all that, a dear friend of mine lost her mother suddenly last Wednesday. Just so happens that she's still grieving over the loss of her father whom passed 2 1/2 years ago. I am hurting for her, I wish I could've been there for her. She sent me this picture early this morning, made me want to start crying all over again.



Mama Edith, Tia & Me

I don't even remember how old we were when we took this picture but Tia and I have been friends since 6th grade, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. I keep praying for her strength.

Then to put the icing on the cake, my honey and I are having our first fight disagreement. I said some very hurtful things to him yesterday, not intentionally to hurt him but out of frustration. It really rattled him. It's never my intent to purposely hurt someone that I love, so not talking to him right now until he gets over it is difficult. Words are just as powerful as actions.

All I'd really like to do right now is curl up and cry myself back to sleep. What I'm going to do is get up, workout and try to enjoy the rest of my day with my girls. Happy Easter!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

How I feel this morning "Mary J. Blige - Just Fine"

This morning I woke up with this song on my heart. I am a HUGE Mary fan and her music always seems to offset whatever mood I'm in. I'm loving who I am...just fine!