Happy New Year....not looking back!

Happy New Year to all of you!

Last year was emotionally hard on me and I decided not to do a 2012 year in review post. Main reason being I just want/need to move forward.

Here's my vision board for 2013



This is the first day I've looked at it since I finished it! I must do better smh lol! I have made it the lock screen on my phone so now I see it multiple times a day!

At the start of last week my girl Ro kicked off her Fine in 50 challenge!! I rarely participate in challenges, even some that I've created 0_o!

But this time I thought I'd give it a go! Monday was great! I woke up early, got my workout done...and ate well all day! That evening my nose is runny but I think nothing of it kanyeshrugs here?

Tuesday comes and I wake up feeling awful. Now I got my flu shot in September so I'm thinking it's just a little cold and this to shall pass...WRONG! I left work midday feeling like I had been hit by a truck! Hot..cold..sweating...chills...everything associated with having the flu!

I had a complete loss of appetite and all I wanted to do was sleep! Not the way I had planned to jump start my weight loss again but hey..I'll take it!

I battled being sick all week long. My eating was off and on sporadic. For the most part I ate what I had a taste for once my appetite picked up a little. I drank lots of tea with honey instead of sugar. And I didn't have any fast food!

Since I'm feeling better I have weighed myself this morning and I am down 5 pounds since last Monday! It's back to business..I must get my body back to where I'm comfortable.

I'm moving in the right direction and that's the most important thing to me, all else will fall into place!

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New :))

I've been a bit hesitant when it came to writing about New. Let me first start off by saying that New is my "New" sweetie!

Yes I just ended another relationship not too long ago, and New was a big part of making the final decision to let it go. A few of my friends had asked me if it was too soon to move on with someone else? No. I was ready but I'm not going to lie and say that it has been easy.

I've known him now just over 3 months. Coming straight out of a relationship and into another was not my ideal but it happened for a reason. This man has consistently told me and shown me his true intentions. I have nothing but admiration and respect for that.

I thought I was specific in my last request for the man in my life, I guess I wasn't specific enough! New is showing me that there are still great men out here! He's so special to me :)

Ultimately we are at the same place at the right time as far as relationships go. New made it very clear from the start that he would be the man I've prayed for. No games, an all out full fledged courtship! I'd never experienced being courted in this manner! He's been spoiling me and I've gotten used to it!

I expect next year to be full of exciting changes in my life! I won't make any "official" announcements just yet BUT there are talks if bells..there are talks of rattles..there are talks of buying a home!! :))))

I'm looking forward to becoming a "Mrs" someday. It's nice to hear a man tell you I choose YOU! You are beautiful and I am going to make you my wife!

He told me when he met me that he knew I was going to be in trouble. I asked why? He said he knew that he was going to do whatever he had to do to win me and that I would not be able to resist!

So far he's kept his word!

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The breakup...and then.....

For those of you that have followed me for awhile, you know that I had been in a long distance relationship a little over three years. Over the last six months things between us haven't been good at all.

I struggled with the idea of walking away many times, and often times didn't know what I was going to do? I love this man, I felt as if he was my best friend...the love of my life.

I was wrong.

Not about him being my best friend, but about him being the man God intended me to spend the rest of my life with.

I felt often more times than not, that I was in a relationship all by myself, lonely and unsatisfied. The struggle was that he's not a bad person, there were just things that I didn't want to accept. I didn't feel like a priority in his life. I didn't feel important and sometimes I felt like he was keeping our relationship a secret.

His entire life is in New Orleans, and my life is here in Houston. He wasn't making enough effort in my opinion to show me his level of seriousness being three years in. I knew in my heart that I needed/wanted/deserved more.

So I made the tough decision to walk away. At the end of the day, I am 34 years old, a single mommy making it on my own. I need a partner in life that wants to be there for my girls and myself in every way possible, I had to let go. I was settling. I didn't relocate my life from Seattle to settle on a hope and a wish.

I'm ready to get married, have one more baby possibly. I never envisioned doing it alone. I don't think he was ready. He never told me that he wasn't but then he never told me that he was. I made peace with that.

I didn't cry, I've been crying since February. It didn't get better until I made up my mind. I was blocking my blessing.

And then came New!!


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Another one bites the dust!

My big girl turned 9 yesterday, 9/9! I'm a proud mama! I see my girls growing and changing so much everyday. It's amazing just how fast the time goes by.

For all the new mama's I know...please enjoy it!



Julianni when she was almost two



My girl on her birthday

I'm ready to change the direction of my blog I know I've said this before again, this time I've given it careful thought and consideration.

Changes are on the horizon, all good things I promise!

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August progress post!

I wanted to post this yesterday but was up early (4:30 am) completing a shadow box that needed to be mailed yesterday! Thank goodness I met my deadline but I was SLEEPY when I made it home!

Here's my scale pic from this morning pre workout:




Then I got ready to take my measurements and guess what? I can't find my damn measuring tape? I asked peat and repeat aka Julianni and Mimi and of course they haven't seen it hmmmmm okay O_o! So what I'll do this evening is take a couple body pics, and jot down my stats then post that tomorrow!

By my calculations I am up a whopping 21.8 pounds since this time last year. It was more...I've been chipping away at it.

I'm no longer stressed, irritated, frustrated or sad. Actually I'm finally getting back to my happy place! Let me tell you it feels really great! I've got my journal in my bag, still working on my new goals and rewards list. This time I think I'll be putting away $5 per pound to go towards shopping when I get back to #165.

23 weeks left in this year to lose 21.8 pounds, totally doable for me!

Oh yeah and in even happier news, my mom, gram, sister's, brother, nephews & nieces will ALL be here next week for our family reunion!!! This is just the pick me up I need! I miss them all SO MUCH :)

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And the journey continues!

I've been dealing with SO MUCH bullshit I had lost my mojo! My personal life has somehow managed to overshadow and take a front seat to my healthy lifestyle journey.

I've been stressing and it's showing up on the scale! I am sharing my weigh ins (for the last 7 wks) which are on Monday's.

6/18- 187.8
6/25- 186.6
7/2- 185.4
7/9- 185.8
7/16- 184.4
7/23- 189.8
7/30- 187.0

This is the heaviest I've been in two years. I've decided instead of becoming depressed I'm going to just buckle down and take action! I did complete all five of my scheduled workouts this week! First time in a long time!

On August 1st I will post my scale pic, weight, progress pics and stats. My goal is to be at or below my goal weight (165) by Jan 1, 2013. This will be just in time for my 2 year anniversary of keeping it off.

On the 1st I will also go over my plan, goals and rewards. It's back to the basics for me. I know exactly what I have to do to get back on track. I haven't really taken too many pictures lately but I'll share my latest Instagram shots!












This ish here smfh...only in Seattle can you bring your furniture into downtown Seattle via Uhaul to watch the Torchlight parade lol









Thanks for all of your continued support! Yes I'm strong but I'm human. Will I get through this...absolutely! Will it be easy...probably not!

God is still working on me and he hasn't brought me this far to let me down now! I live by that :)

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Cleaning house...glad she's GONE!

It's been a minute but my life has been in complete disarray over the past couple of weeks. I ended things with my honey so I thought Wednesday last week and then my so called friend moved out of the house we shared last Friday unannounced.

Yes she breeched our lease contract and left me to take care of the mess but it's all good. Wasn't even woman enough to say anything, left a note smh. God don't like ugly!

One of my last posts I talked about the ending of my friendship. At this point I'm glad that she's gone. I can't go into detail what actions are going to be taken due to legal reasons but please know that my girls and I are okay and I will end up on top.

This is a great lesson not only for me but my girls as well. Everyone IS NOT your friend and there are people that use others for their own personal gain. She was a user, point, blank, period. I don't expect any good to come to her until she "rights" her "wrongs." How she handled herself and the situation was foul, I rest easy knowing when karma knocks on her door she has an ass whooping coming!

That's being real!

Ironically the man I ended things with came to me and said he'd help me financially if I needed him to. He let me vent to him, no complaining, just let me get out what I needed to let go. I love him dearly, he is my best friend. I'm not sure what's going to happen at this point but we are working on things.

I've got a lot going on but my stress level is now minimized knowing I'm back to relying on myself to get things done. I won't be taking on another roommate situation, I wouldn't care if my girls and I were in a studio lol! I will post about about getting back into my journey, will begin posting updates on 8/1.

The stress of the last few months has most definitely shown up on the scale. The number is astounding....I have a plan! I need it gone....cleaning house literally!


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Thirty Days of ME...Day 24

Day Twenty-Four- A letter to your parents

Dear Dad,

I really don't know where to start this letter? There has been a void in my life for the last 22 years because you really haven't been a part of it. At one point in time a was a true "daddy's girl," your firstborn child. I remember you taking me everywhere with you. Once you and my mother divorced when I was 10, you became a stranger. Unfortunately you missed out on a lot of great moments in my life. We are not able to go back and recapture those years.

I don't hate you for your poor decisions, I just feel disappointed. Almost as if I was robbed of a relationship that could have been great. You weren't there for me at times when I needed you the most. In spite of you not being there, I still became  great woman and mother to my own children. Sadly I see a lot of the`things you did repeating itself with the girls' dad.

I love you but from a distance, my heart can no longer hold onto resentment and bitterness. Maybe at some point you'll know better so you can do better.

Your daughter,

Miesha

Dear Mom,

You are a true soldier. I've watched you go through a number of adverse situations and persevere. You were hard on me, and I now know it was because you expected me to set the example for my younger siblings. I always knew you wanted me to be better than you. There was a period of time that I couldn't stand to be around you because of the way you were choosing to live your life but I never stopped loving or caring for you.

Thank you for teaching me how to be an overall good person. I can't lie, a lot of things I learned, I learned by doing the complete opposite of what you did. You are street smart and always stayed one foot in front of me! I didn't understand the lack of privacy you never gave me but I understand now that you wanted me to be perfect.

I could go on forever with this but I will close by saying I love you mom. You've always been one of my biggest fans, even if you didn't agree with the choices I made. Because I am a mother now I know your love for me is unconditional. Thank you for helping to shape me into the woman I am today.

Love always,

Miesha

Thirty days of ME...Day 7

Day Seven- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Without question my daughter's have had the greatest impact on my life. They are so honest, open and amazing. Everyday I learn how to be a better person from them.

Summer in Seattle 2010

It's been four long years since the girls and I have taken professional photographs together. In August I enlisted the help of my friend Wayne Jung (Nappsack photography) to capture summer in Seattle! Here are a few of the shots from the shoot. He did an excellent job of capturing all of our personalities. My girls LOVE the camera...can you tell??? LOL! My heart is so full right now, I'm blessed!

The lights of my life!

Yasmine (Mimi) and Julianni (Nani) are the lights of my life. Without them, there is no me and I am proud to have been chosen to be their mommy! On the days that I really don't feel like working out, they tell me how great I'm doing and it gives me my boost! My girls are the best!

Birthday celebration 2010

My sister's and I celebrating my birthday at the Brandon Roy party !

32 years of life

I’m 32!! On August 31st 2010 I celebrated my 32^nd birthday! I know some people grovel at the idea of getting older but I actually enjoy it. The sweetest gift I could have given myself is the smaller body I am living in now thanks to consistent diet and exercise. I’m not joking when I say the last year of my life has been amazingly wonderful! I fell in love again, I’ve made permanent lifestyle changes and I’ve taken back control of my life. I don’t apologize for who I am, you’ll either love me or not…and I’m secure enough now to know that it’s okay to feel that way. I have a special thank you to all of my friends and family that wished me a happy birthday! Most importantly the sweet happy birthday wishes that came from my girls when I woke them up to get ready for school, that completely made my day!