Sorry for leaving y'all hanging yesterday, but that's the making of a great post right?? LOL!
Since I returned from my trip to New Orleans last month, honey and I have hit the roughest patch we've ever gone through. I can truthfully say there were two specific incidents when I was pretty much done.
My feelings were hurt and I didn't really want to fight for us anymore and that's real.
I remember the first time we met. I was at my heaviest weight, extremely insecure about my body. Somehow with all of my excess weight and insecurities he loved me through it. I haven't always been the best GF to him and I've doubted and questioned his him on many occasions.
With this distance he's disappointed me on more than one occasion. How do you get past the person that loves you letting you down? I understand that he's human and he has faults but when I tell him I'm going to do something, I do it and I'm true to my word. I've loved him hard from a distance the last 2 1/2 years.
I can't deny that we have a connection that is very hard to come by. I've dealt with enough men to know that finding what I have is hard.
Some days I miss him more than words can explain and I feel like nobody really understands. I don't have the luxury of sitting around crying about it, I've got kids to raise.
At this point we are still trying and
committed to our relationship. If we both had the option we'd be together every day. I have to remind myself during these times that loving someone unconditionally means going through the ups and downs. If I felt like he was giving up (which he says he never will) I'd have to seriously consider the next step.
Getting to know another man doesn't seem appealing in the least, although a few have tried :-). I'm not interested and I'd rather deal with distance than settle for someone else!
Tomorrow I'll talk about my journey!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone