On the real in my humble personal opinion, as adults (when we have children) we have a responsibility to raise complete and productive members of society. How does wearing a ring (married or unmarried) have anything to do with that??
Okay you're married, you have a husband..that's great! I know plenty married men that are absent in their marriage AND their children's lives. I'm sick of folks passing judgement based on the absence of a wedding ring. You can be married and be un-fucking happy and have the most disrespectful kids walking!
Or you can be a single mom, co-parent with you child's father and keep it moving! If I chose to, I could "stunt & front" slap on a wedding band and give people the "perception" that I am married but for what? To save face for others? Fuck NO!
I stopped giving two shits about what people "think" about me years ago. I'll tell someone to their face that they can kiss my ass twice...you don't have to like me but you will respect me...PERIOD. Look at me sideways if you want, I'll call you on it!
As a mother, I take my responsibility seriously, if you meet my girls you'll know that. Me not wearing their dad's ring has nothing to do with it. If everyone was so happily married, the divorce rate would not be what it is, that's real.
As women and mothers we need to stick together. There shouldn't be a stigma associated with not wearing a ring and having a child. Your marriage IS NOT GUARANTEED FOREVER...sorry! The reality is you just might end up divorced just like 50% of others in a few years. It's a toss up!
The only one to judge is God. I fear God, I do not fear anyone else and what they think. Be mindful if you are married and judge a mother with her children and she's not wearing a ring. You do not know her story, it's not your business...that is all.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
11 comments:
Love it and SO darn true!! :-)
I'm not a religious person, but most people are. Consider this...
All the famous Biblical people have shitty kids. Folks need to think about that before they open their mouths.
So true!!
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's it and that's all! LOL!
Talk about being real girl u hit it on the head! I know someone that this unhappily married with children . So u are very correct
Girl YES! I'm glad you said it. I wanted to so bad. You are too much like me because reading through those comments made me madder. I appreciate the fact that she tried to include unmarried mothers but you can't even consider that the same as simply not wearing a ring. That ring don't mean a thing because it doesn't define your life or happiness. Do you know how many people are in loveless marriages? Now what meaning does that ring have? I'm not bitter about being a single mother because I could have been married along time ago but I chose not to. Wearing a ring don't make you a better mother or define you as a mother. Yes I have a ringless finger because I chose not to settle and I want better for my kids. These past 6 years I can guarantee that I am a better mother without that ring than I would have been with one. I will NEVER judge women by the ring on their finger or lack thereof. I have a friend who told me she wish she was a mother like me and she's married with three kids. That speaks for itself so define me by how I raise my kids and not the ring you don't see on my finger. And that's my personal and professional opinion.
Hmm, I commented on Mrs. P's site, so I'll comment here as well. IMO, you seem to be saying that single, pregnant woman shouldn't be judged while in the same breath, you are judging the married pregnant women.
No, all marriages aren't happy, all don't last forever and all parents are good ones. However, I don't think that most set out to intentionally become single parents.
My comment from P's site was: Most things don't bother me, but I can't lie - when I was pregnant, I went to great lengths to ALWAYS wear my ring. I don't knock anyone's situation or circumstance, however, I was raised and supported to get married before having a child. I was blissfully happy to have a loving husband and be carrying his child. I was PROUD of being pregnant, but moreso of being a pregnant wife. **shrugs** Other might not care or think it's a big deal, but I did and still do.
Exactly what did I say here that implies I'm judging the married pregnant woman? IMO you don't know anything about me, have you ever read my blog? You think I'm turning my nose up at women because they're pregnant and married?? Laughable. This was not about Mrs. P, I like her blog and what she stands for. If your comment wasn't about "judging" others than this wasn't in reference to you! The only reason why I can think of you dropping by my blog to leave a comment is to justify the ignorance of the author. We can agree to disagree, but this isn't about you boo boo!
Wow, m'kay. Wasn't expecting all that simply by voicing my opinion. I didn't say it was about me; I shared my own personal feelings regarding being pregnant. I actually have read your blog from a few weeks now and I enjoyed the content. All the best to you.
WOW. I never thought about this subject. I also don't really care at all about what others think of my situation. I live only to please God. If someone passes judgement on me for not having a wedding ring they can take it up with God. I was married when I got pregnant but even if I wasn't I still wouldn't care about others opinions. I think there are bigger things to worry about then something so petty like this. Pretty crazy discussion...LOL!
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