For those of you that have followed me for awhile, you know that I had been in a long distance relationship a little over three years. Over the last six months things between us haven't been good at all.
I struggled with the idea of walking away many times, and often times didn't know what I was going to do? I love this man, I felt as if he was my best friend...the love of my life.
I was wrong.
Not about him being my best friend, but about him being the man God intended me to spend the rest of my life with.
I felt often more times than not, that I was in a relationship all by myself, lonely and unsatisfied. The struggle was that he's not a bad person, there were just things that I didn't want to accept. I didn't feel like a priority in his life. I didn't feel important and sometimes I felt like he was keeping our relationship a secret.
His entire life is in New Orleans, and my life is here in Houston. He wasn't making enough effort in my opinion to show me his level of seriousness being three years in. I knew in my heart that I needed/wanted/deserved more.
So I made the tough decision to walk away. At the end of the day, I am 34 years old, a single mommy making it on my own. I need a partner in life that wants to be there for my girls and myself in every way possible, I had to let go. I was settling. I didn't relocate my life from Seattle to settle on a hope and a wish.
I'm ready to get married, have one more baby possibly. I never envisioned doing it alone. I don't think he was ready. He never told me that he wasn't but then he never told me that he was. I made peace with that.
I didn't cry, I've been crying since February. It didn't get better until I made up my mind. I was blocking my blessing.
And then came New!!
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