Who is Miesha Roshawn?

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The frustration of my LDR...long distance relationship

The majority of my posts are typically about my weight loss journey, occasionally I'll post something about my life outside of weight loss. Today this is on my heart so I'm going to share it.

I haven't really gone into great detail about my relationship because it's a very sensitive subject for me. I have said on many occasions that I feel like he is IT for me, that has not changed. I love this man like I've never loved another.

He came to see me this past weekend (arrived at 3 am Sunday morning, left 8 pm Sunday evening) made the long drive from NO to Houston because I was agitated about not seeing him since February.

Was I happy that he came, yes of course! Was I happy that he was only here less than 24 hours, hell no! I understand he has very limited time due to his job and obligations to his child. One of the many things I admire about him is the fact that he's a great father.

I try not to throw too many fits about him not being here in the way I'd like him to. This is proving to be difficult. The LDR is not for the emotionally unstable. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle.

I don't know when the gap will come to an end and that's the most difficult part. I deal with so much and most times I just need him to hug me through it but he's not here.

I don't want to give up on my love. It hurt like hell when he left, physically I felt sick. I have this empty ass feeling that doesn't go away until he returns.

I never expected that first conversation to turn into what we are living now. Every single day I miss him more and more. I really just want the nagging ache of missing him to go away. My heart is so heavy right now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

7 comments:

Erin said...

Oh, Miesha, I know exactly how you feel. I met a men 2 years ago and he moved. I told him before he moved that I couldn't do a long distance relationship, because the one thing I wanted out of a relationship was someone who was there; someone who at the end of the night could wrap his arms around me and make me feel safe. You don't get that when your partner lives hundreds or thousands of miles away.

What you're a going through is very difficult, I know. At some point, though, you have decide what it really is that you want out of a relationship. We're not getting any younger. Perhaps the two of you could engage in a conversation about moving closer to one another? I don't know.

Anyhow, I hope the heartache of missing him subsides soon. Keep your head up. And remember, you deserve everything you want out of a relationship. Take care.

Sunny said...

Hey! I just found your blog from Ro's.

I just wanted to send you encouragement because my marriage started out long distance. I lived in Kentucky and he lived in Memphis, TN... although we did see eachother more often that you and your man, it was just as hard seeing him leave.

Follow your heart- if you truly feel that it's worth keeping, don't give up. Are there any plans in the future for either of you to move?

Miesha Roshawn said...

@Erin, Thanks hun you're a sweetie. I lessened the gap when I moved from Seattle in February. The first year and a half we were 2000 miles apart, now it's a little over 300. I know right now I'm not willing to walk away. I'm confident that we'll make it through this, it's just hard right now.

@Sunny, Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Being that I just made a major move, I'm not looking to move again anytime soon. Besides that, I wouldn't want to live in New Orleans and he knows that. For right now we have agreed not to let no more than two months pass without seeing eachother. Ideally we'll see each other once a month but with his job that's a stretch. I know he's worth all of this or trust me I wouldn't go through it. We've had an unexplainable connection since day one. This had never happened to me before. Nobody would be able to take his place.

Sunny said...

Well, keep on! I KNOW a long distance thing is not easy... but in my city, the choice of men was awful and I got tired of the bull. So I learned to deal with the distance for the sake of a good man.

You have a great thing going. And as long as you have communication and trust, you guys will be alright. I wish you luck chica. This CAN be done. ;)

Rachael said...

As a girl in an LDR too I know how you feel. I hate that part where you have to go your separate ways. We often have to part at airports and I have to walk away in tears, what makes it harder is when your surrounded by people who are so happy to be going on holiday and your just stood there crying.

Nothing can make the pain better or go away. I always feel like i'm missing a huge huge part of myself. I miss even the smallest of things or how he takes all the bed covers, so his sighs, his smiles. Every little thing I ache for.

I guess what LDRs do make us do is cherish every part and second we have together and have that extra strength and belief in our relationships.

Its always good in a way to know there's people out there who understand what you're going through, sometimes it feels like your the only person who understand and everyone else thinks your crazy.

Sorry for the long ramble - was just good to stumble upon a blog that posted something about LDRS - there doesn't seem to be too many of them around!

Tim said...

I always forget just how HUGE the USA is. I looked on the map and noticed that Houston and NO were pretty close but to then read that there is a 300 mile gap is just crazy!! Just so I could understand the distances better, I then worked out that Britain can fit into Texas nearly 3 times. Wow!

I'm sorry you're hurting after just a brief visit from your man but hopefully that will be the start of more visits because I am pretty sure he will be hurting just as much too. I really hope everything works out for you both, he sounds great and you're great too. I wish you all the best.

Oh and check out all your support! You have some wonderful followers Miesha!

Miesha Roshawn said...

@Sunny, Again thank you for your kind words. Coming from Seattle the prospects were slim as well! So like you, I opted for the distance without the drama. I just didn't expect things to work out the way that they have. Actually I didn't have any expectations! I suppose some of the best things come when you least expect it :-).

@Rachael, You are SO right! People that haven't gone through it don't understand it. I don't think I've run across any blogs that address it. I believe love has no boudaries and I'm rooting for you as well! Thanks for the comment!

@Tim, Often times I forget that he might be hurting just as much as I do because he doesn't voice it the way I do. Thank you for reminding me that men have feelings too! Oh yes Texas is a huge state! I do have lots of support, it feels good to know that people I've never met care so much!

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